November 18, 2022
The Lord recently went from wooing me to confronting me, as Corey Russell says in his book, Teach Us to Pray.
The last time the Lord had spoken to me in an audible voice, He said something that made me giddy and blush every time I thought of it, but that was immensely practical because over time, as I thought about what He thought of me expressed in those specific words, it changed me. I wanted to be what He said I was. That was in June.
But this summer I became extremely busy and had a health issue spring up. So, I went to Him in prayer like I always do, but I sought mostly His strength. I received strength, and then kept on running. All this time, I longed to hear His voice.
Even running on His strength, after four months I came to the end of myself and crashed dramatically. And that’s when I heard His voice again, in October. For the first time since He began speaking to me in this way in March of 2021, it was a confrontation. He said, “Squandered by haste. Be strong in my strength, but don't let your inheritance be squandered by haste.” (His choice of words always makes me breathless in awe.) In anyone else’s words, the message would be, “SLOW DOWN.” It was correction. It was a rebuke. And it was so welcome.
All summer I have also longed for those days when I would awake to hear my soul speaking or singing to Him. The night after I heard the words above, this happened again, too, and this was my response to His correction from the night before: “Your strength is made perfect in my weakness, so I’m tangled up and dangling with You.” I believe this is a sign of a maturing bride. His message to me is a sign that I have grown up.
And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”
It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
- Hebrews 12:5-11